A few months ago, I saw the movie: Perks Of Being A Wallflower, based on the novel by Stephen Chbosky . According to Moviefone: “ ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower‘ is a moving tale of love, loss, fear and hope–and the unforgettable friends that help us through life.” There are many relate-able moments in the film, however there is one line in the picture that continues to resonate in my head. The line is: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” As I left the theater, I repeated that line to myself – over & over, like a mantra, lest I forget it. In my mind, this quote leads to a plethora of questions, not directly related to the type of love which comes from relationships, but more so about self-love.
Here are some of the questions that I reflected on:
How do I view myself :
- as a person?
- as a friend?
- as a professional?
- as a mother, daughter sister, wife, aunt or grandmother (or any other roles)?
How happy am I with:
- who I am?
- what I stand for?
- what I believe, value or hold dear?
- how I relate to others, whether or not they play an integral role in my life?
What do I think I deserve:
- from others?
- from myself?
- from the world around me?
Am I being realistic as to what I deserve?
- Do I deserve more than I think I do?
- Am I satisfied with all that life has to offer me?
How would you answer these questions?
Is there a correlation between how you see yourself & what you think you deserve?
Do you think you deserve more love than you have allowed yourself to partake?
There is a lot to glean from this quote. What additional questions would you ask yourself?
Quotes byStephen Chobsky
Scene from Perks of Being a Wallflower – UTube
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (missreadreviews.com)
Book vs. Movie: The Perks of being a Wallflower (thepunktheory.wordpress.com)
Quotes of the Week 3/3/13
What better topic to focus on this Valentines Day week than LOVE.
“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
“Love is the water of life, jump into this water.” – Rumi
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.” Lao Tzu
“Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.” Barbara De Angelis
“Love is living your own life, but sharing it. It’s forgiveness. It’s making a million mistakes and turning them into learning experiences. Love is patience, optimism, and sometimes it’s a kiss when there is nothing left to say.” -Unknown
“Love is a gift. If you receive it, open and appreciate it. If not, do not worry. Someone somewhere is still wrapping it for you.” Anonymous
“Love is much like a wild rose; beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in it’s defense”. Mark Overby
Happy Valentines Day
One of the greatest things to happen to me in the last couple of years was the introduction of new people into my life. For the first time in many years I have had the time to nurture new friendships. Each of these friends came to me based on a commonality in our lives, such as similar occupations, time schedules that seem to gel and in a couple of cases, sharing of life circumstances – such as dealing with a chronic medical problem.
The great thing about new friends is that they know you as you are now. This is so important for someone whose circumstances, whether physical, emotional or personal have brought changes in how they live their life or view the world. Sometimes these changes are hard for people who have been part of one’s life for a long time to accept and/or understand, unless they have followed a similar path.
For new friends, every story and tidbit of history shared has never been heard before. Telling each other stories about one’s childhood, family and school years lend valuable insight into each others psyche. I love hearing stories about the places they have traveled, what kind of work they do or did and of course stories about spouses, children and grandchildren. It’s especially fun to find out that you know the same person or people, frequent the same places and love to do the same thing.
New friends mean that you can start from scratch – no preconceived notions. The relationship can be mutually defined. I’ve always had a hard time making friends, but the difference now is that I don’t wait for someone to come to me. I think we all have some insecurities when it comes to approaching someone to “have coffee” the first time, but it’s worth the try because finding someone who wants to have a friendship with you as much as you with them – feels great!
A friend is a present you give yourself. Robert Louis Stevenson
During difficult times, such as illness or other life changing events having supportive friends, especially old friends can make all the difference in the recovery process. Next to family, friends that have known you since your youth make troubled times more bearable.
Old friends are people who know your history, your moods, and your deep dark secrets. These friends probably know things about you that no one else knows, including your family. There are old friends who you may not see for years, but when you meet or phone, it’s as if no time has passed. These same old friends will come from near and far to support you through happy times and sad times.
It takes a lot of work to retain these friendships. I often wish I had worked harder. Once we are out of high school, friends may choose different paths. Career, marriage and children make day to day life chaotic. It often becomes difficult to find the time to nurture other relationships.
The interesting thing is that if we are diligent about keeping in touch with these friends, life can come full circle. When the children have grown and moved forward with their life and/or work hours have waned – old friends are still there. Now there is time to again rejoice in those relationships, finding new things in common, sharing the joys and challenges of later life, and as always providing much needed support.
This is the beauty of old friends.
This is dedicated to all of the wonderful friends I had the pleasure of growing up with: whether or not we are in still in each others lives, you are all forever in my heart. We shared some of the best years of our lives together and for that I am grateful.
To my childhood friends who are no longer with us – you will never be forgotten!